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It was straight enough, only curving at the edges, and to my bestefforts it resembled a few of the singers I adored from bands that most ofmy classmates didn't care about. I caught myself looking into myreflection, eyes scanning my pale face as I willed myself to keep onbreathing."I know you're just so fucking ugly, huh Vincent?" I turned in surprise,unaware that someone had entered the bathroom. "But you only have to lookat it when you're in front of a mirror. We have to suffer a hell of a lotmore than that." It was Chris, a tall, muscular blond boy who had neverliked me. He was three inches taller than me and, to my memory, the mostman out of any of the boys in our grade. He just looked like he was readyfor juvie and to no one's surprise had the attitude to go with it.Typically he avoided me though, and I narrowed my eyes as I watched him goto the urinal and begin to piss. Eddie never really scared me – I justhated him. I never hesitated to talk back to the black-haired boy, and on. Then Dana being sad when I said I was not in his league, he thoughtthat was why I was not open to his advances. I was not open to themfor I was in denial about how I felt about him and also who I am. Ido not mean the type of person I am. I mean my gender and mysexuality. Am I a male or female? Am I just a blend of them, which isheavy on the feminine side for a male? I will find out with Dana atmy side.I do not even want to get into sexuality, for I do not care what itis called. I do care that I am admitting that Dana does it for me. Ijust did not notice it, for I never felt attraction like that beforeto anyone, let alone a man. I do not want to get graphic, but, thatfirst kiss got me aroused, but I did not get hard. (Sorry, Pink Diva,I warned you) I did leak some from my penis. That was where the weirdfeeling came from. I could not admit it.That was also why Dana was sad and talked about us not hanging outanymore. Dana needed space from the person he loved but who was.
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